Labels: Abortions , Christians , Jersey Shore , Premarital Sex , Rick Santorum , Sexual Revolution , Tim Keller
A few days ago my Dad emailed me this article that was published in the Wall Street Journal.
Read it here. I would like to clarify that I include myself in all references to the "Christian community," and believe that I have fallen into many/most of the traps of which I reprimand them. Here are my thoughts about some of the main points:
It's been really interesting to read Tim Keller's book The Meaning of Marriage; he addresses sex throughout the book, and then specifically in the final chapter. He talks about the realities of sex, its purpose, and how emotionally vulnerable it makes a person. He breaks down a lot of fantasies that virgins have about sex, which is great, and I wish I could publish it and give it to everyone. 'Jersey Shore' and similar shows make sex with strangers out to be this mysterious adventure that you want to do hundreds of times. I think that even though many Christians turn their nose up at such shows, they secretly believe the lies those shows/novels/songs/movies perpetuate, myself included. They (we) want mysterious, adventurous sex, too, and believe that that only happens before marriage or with someone other than their spouse. It's what happens when you have two powerful but equally opposing messages in our culture: 1) sex is the absolute best thing that can happen to a person, and 2) marriage is restricting and cramps your sexual style.
This is why I agree that the Sexual Revolution really did change the way our culture operated-- it not only created a spike in "unwanted" pregnancies, but Christians who felt they needed to (or really did) disagree with it secretly wanted a sexual revolution for themselves, and simply resorted to hiding their own spike in sexual promiscuity.
And more simply:
Jersey Shore isn't the only show of its kind. However, I'd love to see Santorum meet Snooki.
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The good news--something that Kay S. Hymowitz does not include in her article-- is that, in my opinion, sex within a covenant marriage actually is glorious. Keller articulates it better than I in the final paragraph of his book:
Read it here. I would like to clarify that I include myself in all references to the "Christian community," and believe that I have fallen into many/most of the traps of which I reprimand them. Here are my thoughts about some of the main points:
"How do you explain a country that makes an unabashed Catholic social conservative a leading presidential candidate while devouring a reality show about the smuttiest bumping and grinding ever to hit prime time?"
How indeed? I think that tracing the conundrum back to the Sexual Revolution is probably pretty logical, and I also think it applies to Christians as well as everyone else. If I were to list the people I know/have known to have pre-marital sex, I could give you a pretty equal list of Christians and non-Christians, girls and boys. In fact, when a representative from the Crisis Pregnancy Center in Tulsa talked to us in high school, she reported that the majority of the abortion cases she dealt with were "Christian girls"--white and middle or upper class--that were trying to keep their promiscuity a secret. The next largest number of abortions were middle or upper class white women--married-- who just didn't want more children. I think that the Christian community as a whole has not done a good job of 1) educating children about sex (before they become teenagers and are tempted to do it), and 2) allowing teenagers to be open with their sexual struggles, which causes them to a) think it's cooler than it really is, b) want to do it just to spite their parents/God/the church, c) keep it a secret. I think there is a lot of sexual repression among Christians--and probably Catholics, too, according to this author-- meaning that while they outwardly dress in "vests" and preach anti-contraceptives and anti-abortion, they are secretly watching 'Jersey Shore' and getting secret abortions and having affairs because they're struggling with things that they *think* they can't talk about or deal with openly. This is something I see all the time here in Norman. A lot of people have sex, but the Christians just keep it a secret. I certainly don't trumpet my private screenings of Gossip Girl or the Vampire Diaries.It's been really interesting to read Tim Keller's book The Meaning of Marriage; he addresses sex throughout the book, and then specifically in the final chapter. He talks about the realities of sex, its purpose, and how emotionally vulnerable it makes a person. He breaks down a lot of fantasies that virgins have about sex, which is great, and I wish I could publish it and give it to everyone. 'Jersey Shore' and similar shows make sex with strangers out to be this mysterious adventure that you want to do hundreds of times. I think that even though many Christians turn their nose up at such shows, they secretly believe the lies those shows/novels/songs/movies perpetuate, myself included. They (we) want mysterious, adventurous sex, too, and believe that that only happens before marriage or with someone other than their spouse. It's what happens when you have two powerful but equally opposing messages in our culture: 1) sex is the absolute best thing that can happen to a person, and 2) marriage is restricting and cramps your sexual style.
This is why I agree that the Sexual Revolution really did change the way our culture operated-- it not only created a spike in "unwanted" pregnancies, but Christians who felt they needed to (or really did) disagree with it secretly wanted a sexual revolution for themselves, and simply resorted to hiding their own spike in sexual promiscuity.
And more simply:
"The optimist's answer to all of this has always been—and remains—'more education and more access to contraception.' But the problem for lower-income women isn't so much a lack of birth control or knowledge of it; they just have a tepid interest in family planning."
I think this is SO true. By now, everyone is educated about sex and has easy access to contraceptives. The problem isn't the education, it's the sex. Because sex creates families.Jersey Shore isn't the only show of its kind. However, I'd love to see Santorum meet Snooki.
---
The good news--something that Kay S. Hymowitz does not include in her article-- is that, in my opinion, sex within a covenant marriage actually is glorious. Keller articulates it better than I in the final paragraph of his book:
Sex is glorious not only because it reflects the joy of the Trinity
but also because it points to the eternal delight of soul that we will
have in heaven, in our loving relationships with God
and one another. Romans 1:7 tells us that the best marriages
are pointers to the deep, infinitely fulfilling, and final union
we will have with Christ in love.
No wonder, as some have said, that sex between a man and a woman
can be a sort of embodied out-of-body experience.
It's the most ecstatic, breathtaking, daring,
scarcely-to-be-imagined look at the glory that is our future. (236)
but also because it points to the eternal delight of soul that we will
have in heaven, in our loving relationships with God
and one another. Romans 1:7 tells us that the best marriages
are pointers to the deep, infinitely fulfilling, and final union
we will have with Christ in love.
No wonder, as some have said, that sex between a man and a woman
can be a sort of embodied out-of-body experience.
It's the most ecstatic, breathtaking, daring,
scarcely-to-be-imagined look at the glory that is our future. (236)
