As sit here at Cafe Plaid, sipping my house blend and humming along to Beethoven's Piano Sonata #1, it's hard to imagine being anywhere else than right here.
So many questions flood my mind; all involve life-changing decisions.
I love OU. I love being an OU student. I am Sooner born and Sooner bred, and have always envisioned a happy 4 years of undergraduate work in Norman, Oklahoma tied off with a triumphant march across the stage in Owen Field. Although I was disappointed to live in the dorms again this semester, I was not upset to be on campus. There is something magical and enchanting about the atmosphere here--vintage street lamps, red telephone booths, ivy league, bricked buildings, radiant foliage, ever-changing gardens, classic fountains--that makes a person want to set up camp and never leave.
Yet have my romanticized views of this place jaded my common sense in making said life-changing decisions?
I could ramble for hours at how lovely my surroundings are and how dearly I love my friends and how much I love school spirit and how ... much... but when it comes down to it, I am not happy.
I am unhappy. I work hard, receive good grades, and don't care. This is extremely unfortunate, considering that I love to learn, sing, and develop my skills. It is no secret that a resident of Catlett Music Center cannot be 96% committed and succeed. A music degree from this university means selling one's entire time, energy, focus, and efforts to the hope of 5 year journey of long days, late nights, and weekend commitments. It's like a 60 hour job with no salary and a $15,000 fee.
I hate to be cynical. College is hard, and a degree earned is well earned. But as I feel myself flickering and slowly burning to the end of my proverbial wick, I wonder if this is worth it.
