Labels: Adam , depressing , ducky , hope , singleness
Earlier this year I googled "hope," and this image popped onto the screen. Ironic? If I had been in control of this image's placement and what word triggered its discovery, I would have labeled it "depressing." After all, what could be more depressing than to be a simple, yellow ducky sitting alone on a desolate rock?
I can identify. Our culture exalts and hopes in singleness. "To be single is to be strong!" we cry, scoffing at those who "tie themselves down" with marriage and eternal vows. And if two people do decide to marry, "by all means, keep yourselves financially independent, in case some thing happens." Liberating, isn't it?
While I think this notion is ridiculous, I have certainly bought into it. Due to recent events, I am now single. At first I thought, "Wow, what a great opportunity to learn more about myself, my friends, what I need, and my relationship with God. I'll prove to everyone that I'm strong enough to stay single" (I haven't been single in nearly 3 years). As if singleness = holiness, I marched on, determined to "stick it to the Man" (whoever that is?), so to speak.
What I've since discovered is that being single is not a sign of strength. Yes, God has taught me many things in the past two months that I don't think I could have learned whilst in a relationship. However, being single does not mean that a pandora box is suddenly opened, the Secrets of Living and Loving Deeply are released, and one becomes highly transcendent. Laugh if you will, but that's what I thought would happen.
We have been created to be relational. I believe God has created most of us to desire an eternal with not only a spouse, but with Himself. After all, marriage is the ultimate picture of the perfect consummation of Christ and His church. Look at Adam! He was physically, mentally, and emotionally perfect and had a beautiful, uninterrupted, personal relationship with his Creator, but still longed for human filling. He didn't need it, but he greatly desired it. God's answer? Not "To be single is to be holy! Press on alone!" No, Adam's loving Protector and Provider created a wife, perfectly suited to his needs and desires.
I'm not saying that anyone should writhe in singleness and make their only goal finding a spouse. I am now going to fill that "single" void with a perfect Mate: my Creator.
The 3rd stanza of "Be Still My Soul" has been a huge encouragement to me recently.:
Be still, my soul:
when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened
in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know
His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe
thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul:
thy
Jesus can repay
From His own fullness
all He takes away
I love that hymn and I think that verse is my favorite. I cling and have clung to it through hard times like what you are going through, through leaving and coming back, through security and insecurity. God is good, somehow, through it all. This hymn is so reassuring.
I miss you, friend!