I have never wanted to be a boy, but some days I think I'd make a good one.
I am, by nature, forward. I don't mean 'forward' as in 'progressive,' 'foremost,' or 'speedy' (thank you, thesaurus.com); rather I mean audacious. Whether or not I am perceived that way, I fancy myself as such.This is a very good quality-- for a boy-- to possess. The polite, female counterpart is 'friendly,' which I not-so-surprisingly received in high school as my defining characteristic.
The thing is, I don't think that Christian women are supposed to be forward. Or maybe it's just that the really good ones aren't... or aren't perceived as such. Oy.
In the past, I have done my fair share of overwhelming people with my 'friendly-forward-audaciousness.' By people, I mean guys. Christian guys. You see, I feel like Christian guys don't want forward Christian girls. Perhaps they want 'friendly' ones, but I don't think that's what I am. Nor do I know if I should want to be just that.
They mistake my forwardness for flirtaciousness, and are immediately turned off by my assumed attempt to 'pursue' them. Christian girls aren't supposed to pursue Christian boys (it's against the Bible). I'm not saying that I want to pursue any boy,--Christian or not--but I have definitely lost many a friendship/relationship opportunity based on a misconception about my personality.
The truth? I like getting to know [boys]. Like, know them. Pursue (if you will) who they are, not just a relationship with them. Not only boys, but girls too. People, in general, are a love of mine. Unfortunately, that mixed with a seemingly unhealthy blend of brazenness and energy is often misinterpreted .
Not that I haven't done my fair share of misinterpreting. Forever I've thought 'meekness' to mean 'weakness,' when we as Christian girls have been told time and time again that it most certainly does not. 'Meekness,' rather, means 'power under control.' I think I mess up at the 'under control' part.
My point? None of this would be a problem if I were a boy. In fact, I'd probably be admired as confidant, bold, and courageous. I could sweep some 'meek' (heh) lady off of her feet in a torrent of romantic advances and have a Christian wife in no time! (this is sounding better and better as I think about it!)
I don't know if any of this makes sense. Charlotte Bronte puts it better than I.
Women are supposed to be very calm generally;
but women feel just as men feel;
they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts,
as much as their brothers do;
they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation,
precisely as men would suffer;
and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures
to say that they ought to confine themselves to
making puddings and knitting stockings,
to playing the piano and embroidering bags.
It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them;
if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has
pronounced necessary for their sex.
(Jane Eyre)
I don't think it's proper to end with a quote.
but women feel just as men feel;
they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts,
as much as their brothers do;
they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation,
precisely as men would suffer;
and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures
to say that they ought to confine themselves to
making puddings and knitting stockings,
to playing the piano and embroidering bags.
It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them;
if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has
pronounced necessary for their sex.
(Jane Eyre)
I don't think it's proper to end with a quote.
You are forward?! You are probably also one of those girls who wears shorts underneath her overly large denim jumper!!
When I first started to read this, I went out and found the Jane Eyre quote that you included. I wanted to set you straight by the power and conviction that is Charlotte Bronte, but you had it covered. ( ; Good post.
I hope that all Christian men don't want timid and meek girls.
Problem: There are not boys being as brazen as you are. (PS: I love that word.) I think a lot of us Good Christian Girls are overcompensating with friendliness because there's a fairly strong lack of Good Christian Boys willing to be Strong Courageous Pursuing Manly Men. They're lazy, and it's okay because we fly in and do the dirty work for them. And then they get fidgety and leave.