WDL Demo Rss

I'd like some Fiction with my bread and butter.

Posted by Laura | 2 comments

A room without books is like a body without a soul.
G.K. Chesterton

The feelings I have for my favorite hobby ebb and flow. At times I pride myself in my expansive reading history; at other times I blush at the overriding theme of the literature I have read (mostly novels); sometimes I become angry at myself for escaping into false realities; yet at other moments I relish in the peace of another world, basking in C.S. Lewis' comment that
Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it.
It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides;
and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.

Lately I've been trying to stay away from romance novels in an attempt to keep a firm grasp on reality. Right before I made this vow, I re-read Jane Eyre. It is one of my favorites, mainly because the heroine, Jane, possesses a meekness that I only dream of having (though I do think meekness is really attainable on some level). As J. Oswald Chambers wrote,
If it is true that a man is known by the company he keeps,
it is no less true that his character is reflected in the books he reads,
for they are the outward expression of his inner hungers and aspirations.

One of the great things that I graduated with from Mingo Valley is an awareness of worldviews; simply, that in everything created by man there lies within a bias, a purpose, and an intent. This has aided me not only because I can aspire to be less of a consumer and more of a discerner, but also that I can look beyond the surface story for lessons, whisperings of the author's life, and most importantly, reflections of the Gospel.
I love Little Women because it's about sisters, and I have always wanted a sister.
I love Anna Karenina because Tolstoy's analysis of the female personality is spot on.
I love Dracula not only due to the gripping story line (and my bizarre fascination with vampires), but also because it reflects on a grander scale the terror of a Christian's battle with evil, and the hope of victory with the help of friends and Truth (even if that wasn't the author's intent).
I love Paradise Lost because it completely changed the way I view Heaven. Until I read it, I thought of Heaven as a dream-like world that existed in fuzziness and hopeful ideals. Milton brilliantly creates a dramatic setting that assigns real personalities to familiar Biblical characters, which makes one realize the, well, realness of creation, angels, demons, and Heaven.

I digress. I love reading. Right now I'm reading The Jungle Books for the first time, and loving it. I have to be careful, because if I read for too long I start to become cranky with the world in which I reside. This summer especially I would rather imagine myself in the Indian jungle than at Panera.
However, I would encourage you, dear reader, to read with eyes open deep and wide whilst you peruse your next novel. I am convinced that Jane Eyre has done just as much or more for my inner realizations than any given Christian book. Meaning or not, authors often include reflections of the Gospel in their stories. For my 58th quote of the day, think on C.S. Lewis' remark to young adults, as he utters,
A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist
cannot be too careful of his reading.


I am going to use a lot of " ".

Posted by Laura | 3 comments

I have never wanted to be a boy, but some days I think I'd make a good one.

I am, by nature, forward. I don't mean 'forward' as in 'progressive,' 'foremost,' or 'speedy' (thank you, thesaurus.com); rather I mean audacious. Whether or not I am perceived that way, I fancy myself as such.
This is a very good quality-- for a boy-- to possess. The polite, female counterpart is 'friendly,' which I not-so-surprisingly received in high school as my defining characteristic.
The thing is, I don't think that Christian women are supposed to be forward. Or maybe it's just that the really good ones aren't... or aren't perceived as such. Oy.

In the past, I have done my fair share of overwhelming people with my 'friendly-forward-audaciousness.' By people, I mean guys. Christian guys. You see, I feel like Christian guys don't want forward Christian girls. Perhaps they want 'friendly' ones, but I don't think that's what I am. Nor do I know if I should want to be just that.
They mistake my forwardness for flirtaciousness, and are immediately turned off by my assumed attempt to 'pursue' them. Christian girls aren't supposed to pursue Christian boys (it's against the Bible). I'm not saying that I want to pursue any boy,--Christian or not--but I have definitely lost many a friendship/relationship opportunity based on a misconception about my personality.

The truth? I like getting to know [boys]. Like, know them. Pursue (if you will) who they are, not just a relationship with them. Not only boys, but girls too. People, in general, are a love of mine. Unfortunately, that mixed with a seemingly unhealthy blend of brazenness and energy is often misinterpreted .

Not that I haven't done my fair share of misinterpreting. Forever I've thought 'meekness' to mean 'weakness,' when we as Christian girls have been told time and time again that it most certainly does not. 'Meekness,' rather, means 'power under control.' I think I mess up at the 'under control' part.

My point? None of this would be a problem if I were a boy. In fact, I'd probably be admired as confidant, bold, and courageous. I could sweep some 'meek' (heh) lady off of her feet in a torrent of romantic advances and have a Christian wife in no time! (this is sounding better and better as I think about it!)

I don't know if any of this makes sense. Charlotte Bronte puts it better than I.

Women are supposed to be very calm generally;
but women feel just as men feel;
they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts,
as much as their brothers do;
they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation,
precisely as men would suffer;
and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures
to say that they ought to confine themselves to
making puddings and knitting stockings,
to playing the piano and embroidering bags.
It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them;
if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has
pronounced necessary for their sex.
(Jane Eyre)


I don't think it's proper to end with a quote.

This heat is oppressive

Posted by Laura | 2 comments

Labels: ,

but it doesn't oppress me.

I like the heat. It makes me work, which makes me sweat, which makes me stronger; therefore, more resilient.
I've been thinking about this all day as I play mental gymnastics with myself in an attempt to prepare for my first work day at Panera.
I bought a new set of uniform clothes, because this Panera is more strict in its dress code. As I stared at my image in the dressing room mirror, 'neath the dressing room florescents, I despaired a little. A collared polo tucked into a pair of hip-hugging khakis is not the most exciting reflection upon which to gaze. I made sure to purchase a bright blue polo, which will at least bring a little cheer if I catch my likeness in the bread slicer.
I was greatly convicted this morning as I was reminded to "do everything without complaining or arguing..."
... two things I have most definitely done several times in the past few days.

Pray for me as I embark on this stale trek of summer mundane-ness. It leaves everything to be desired.

Which to bury, us or the bagel?

Posted by Laura | 1 comments

Words cannot express how frustrated I am to have to work at Panera Bread this summer. I have been employed on and off with this company since 2006, and am ready to be rid of them. Despite all of my best job searching endeavors this month and last, I was unable to find anywhere else willing to hire me for just June/July/August.
I get a stomachache whenever I think about starting on Wednesday. I just called to find out my work schedule, and the manager would only tell me the first day that I'm working. She said that I could check the other days when I get there on Wednesday. I needed to know the other days for other commitment purposes, but she would not budge. It probably made me angrier than it should have, but it feels like a reiteration of small bitternesses stored up since 2006.

My online class is overwhelming and confusing. I wasn't able to enroll on time; consequently I am behind on the assignments. With Panera looming ahead, it makes the class seem like a bigger deal than it probably is.

I don't like it when others (or I) say things like, "I can't wait for [allotted amount of time] to be over." I would like to think that the Lord has me at [Panera] for a reason-- something I don't yet understand but hopefully will soon. So...

I won't say it. Just think it.

Language of the Romantics

Posted by Laura | 1 comments

Labels:

I love the days when it's ok to roll around in my romanticism.
(but how do I know when those days are?)

I attended a seminar called "Life Together" (regarding Biblical community) at RUF Summer Conference. Though we only briefly talked about the difference between romantics and cynics, it made quite an impression on me.
You see, I am a romantic.
Stereotypically, romantics are idealists. They love dreaming, visualizing, hoping, and creating. They also avoid confrontation, ignore problems, and pretend like pain doesn't exist. Granted, not all romantics are always all of these things; nonetheless, they are tendencies.

Lately I've been confused about my romantic tendencies, and have wondered if they are God-glorifying.
In his book Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer looks at romanticism with disdain. He says

Innumerable times a whole Christian community
has broken down because it had sprung from a wish dream.
The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community,
is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what
Christian life together should be and to try to realize it.
But God's grace speedily shatters such dreams...
God is not a God of the emotions but the God of truth...
Every human wish dream that is injected into the Christian community
is a hindrance to genuine community and must be banished
if genuine community is to survive (27).

I'm having a hard time understanding this. On the one hand, I agree that "wish dreams" are fruitless. However, what about vision? Goals? Is there a worthy distinction between the two?
How am I to use my romantic tendencies for the glory of God? Where do romantics fit into the Body of Christ?

God obviously created emotions, and He obviously does not desire us to be ruled by them.
How does one who is so prone to constant, intense, emotional urges enjoy them and use them in a proper manner?

For example, tonight I spent a long while relishing the summer wind. It was glorious. I tried to imagine every inch of exposed skin being caressed by the delicious, warm breeze.
And another: yesterday morning I baked chocolate-chip banana bread. I sat on the porch with it and a cup of coffee and pondered true femininity.

More seriously: On Sunday, my pastor gave a moving sermon about "anticipation" and living a life wholly dedicated to Christ. As I listened to his fervent pleas for life action, my mind began to race at the possibilities for my own reponse. My heart beat faster and faster, and my stomach filled up with flurries as I envisioned a radical future of ministry and adventure. I could hardly sit still until he finished. It is almost Friday, and I still have tingles.

Are these things ok?
I don't know.
I accidentally put almond instead of vanilla extract in the banana bread. It produced a queer yet unique taste. Hmm.

6.8

Posted by Laura | 2 comments

I should have gone to the art museum today instead of running errands. I had an overwhelming urge to do so, but suppressed it.

Instead, I'm sitting at the library. In the sun. Responding to emails. Trying to use Ozone.
Listening to Yanni.
I love Yanni.

I have to take the food handler's class for the third time tomorrow morning. I also need a liquor license. I do not know where to acquire this.

Lindsey and I spent 3.5 hours at the community college yesterday, and accomplished virtually nothing. Stand in line, ask a question that you think will gain the proper information, get on the computer, discover a problem with your account, repeat. And repeat. And repeat.
It's so frustrating to know that if you ask the wrong question (because you don't know what question to ask, because you don't know how every facet of college works) you will receive an answer (maybe) that doesn't help. My self-righteousness wanted to stand on a chair in the middle of the enrollment line and scream, "OU RULES MOTHASUCKASSSSS," and storm out angrily, causing all the useless forms to spiral around me in a lovely tornado of green and yellow. At hour 3.25, we considered breaking into the "AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY" closet. We didn't. Yet another batch of spontaneous urges that should not have been suppressed.


This is a not-so-great picture of what is on the other side of the window I'm sitting next to.
I'm getting really hot.

I miss my friends who are not here.
For the first time in my life, I feel out of place living at home with my parents. I think this will be the last summer I do so. It's that awkward I'm-not-a-teenager-but-not-really-an-adult-but--feel-like-an-adult-mostly situation.

Can you dehydrate Coke?


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